Freaky Music 2 plus other stuff

March 21, 2010 at 3:07 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

Ha Ha!

I’m back! kinda.

First off, as the title suggests, I have another song that has freaked me out. It’s a lovely song, but almost made me cry. I think it’s partly because I sometimes think what I’d do in that situation. But anyway, here it is:

So I’ve gone back to uni. Post Grad secondary teaching, english and history. I am so scared. But they said to do a blog, so I thought I’d update them both. I’m gonna try and keep them separate, but if anyone wants to see the other one it will be on edublogs. I haven’t created it yet so I cant send a link yet ūüėõ It’s quite intense, so I’ll see how it goes. I really never thought I’d do this.

I have realised another way I can use this blog; I can go all fangirl here!

I have recently become slightly, ok maybe a bit more than¬† that, obsessed with Power Rangers RPM. I love this show! Particularly the character Ziggy, the green ranger. I think my sister and I have found everything Milo Cawthorne has ever done. If im wrong let me know ūüėõ the best way I can describe him is awesomely goofy. Luv him! I just wish we could get our hands on some of the out takes of ad-libbing that Disney thought was ‘too candid’

Anyway, RPM. I have my ships all happily worked out. Ziggy/Dr K. Summer/Dillon and Flynn/Gemma. Idk who to ship Tenaya with, but I know there needs to be another girl or someone will be left out. It makes me sad that it’s probably the last season to be made in english, and even sadder that the RPM team probably wouldn’t come back even if they did make another english one.¬† I have so many questions! Like how they’d use the super sentai footage to make such a season! I also want to know how the biofields would be affected by a pregnancy….

Gah! anywho, it seems like a good series this time. I enjoyed the writing, and the shiptease, and of course the wonderful fight scenes. something about them is cheesy but not too much. For me anyway. I’m disappointed I can’t find more fandom to lurk in tho, specifically forums or sites shipping Dr K and Ziggy, even icons and fancfic are scarce. I’ve actually written a bit of my own I’m that desparate! Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places ūüė¶

Anyway, I better go, start this other blog, and do uni work, ugh.

Cya

Cessy5

Permalink Leave a Comment

Freaky songs 1

October 8, 2009 at 2:28 pm (Uncategorized) (, )

hey there!

this is the first post about things that freak me. in particular, this post will be about a film clip that creeps me out sooo much. this will also be my first post in which i will attempt to imbed (is that the word?) a video! so bear with me.

the song in question is called ‘transdermal celebrations’ by ween. it is a beautiful song, and the meaning is debated. from what i understand from my brief google search its apocalyptic, or an acid trip, or (my fav suggestion) the crazy dreams that nicotine patches give¬†you.¬† it has that atonal crunch in the verses that resolves so nicely to a smooth chorus. and it just sounds melancholy, i am such a sucker for melancholy.¬† that sound makes me i feel like i could close my eyes and cry, just cry, not about anything, just let it come.¬† i would love to do that so much. but i cant.

but, the film clip is the thing that grabs my core and gently threatens to rip it out.

natural disasters are kinda expected, there is a certain amount of big events you can perceive happening, but becoming a tree? and something humanity cant win? and bringing that feeling down to a personal level through an individual character? too much for my mind!

hope u enjoyed that ūüôā

Cessy5

Permalink Leave a Comment

Disasters

October 7, 2009 at 1:23 pm (Uncategorized)

hello again

ok, so, a proper update of the news from my last post, he did break up with me. so there you go. i wont go into it because its private and too close right now. one thing that has caught my attention during this time is the amount of natural disasters and phenomenon during this time. i will do i quick timeline for you.  

23 sept ‚Ästa huge¬†dust storm engulfs Sydney and Brisbane. the night before this he told me his feelings had changed, although he wasnt sure what to do about this yet.¬†

26 sept ‚Äď the night the second dust storm rolled through Brisbane. also, the first typhoon hits the Philippines.¬†i saw him but we decided neither of us were ready¬†for his decision.¬†¬†

29 sept‚ÄČ‚ÄĒ‚ÄČearthquake triggers a tsunami in Samoa and surrounding areas.

30 sept – a 3rd dust storm was predicted. it didnt happen. what did happen was another earthquake in Samoa and the devestating earthquake in indonesia. he told me he had decided we should be together anymore.

and finally 1 oct – another earthquake hits indonesia.

now, my mind can make some strange connections between things at the best of times, and now is not the best of times. it has 3 possibilities:

1. the world is reacting violently to the break up because he got it wrong

2. the world is reacting violently to the break up because it is responding to my pain

3. God has timed it to tell me not to be so upset/in pain etc because things can be worse.

i am at a stage in the break up where im kinda having a tantrum. i keep looking back a bit and thinking, ‘why, it was so good’ while knowing that it shouldnt happen again and i have many good reasons why not. but i want it, wahh!¬†ūüė•¬†so i want it to be number one because it justifies me but know more like number three.

ugh, but the links i see are mostly imagined. despite whatever comfort i wish to draw from them. my life is not book with themes and plots that can be analysed so nicely. i must stop treating my life like that. i must avoid turning it into the Sims too.    

Thanks for reading

Cessy5

Permalink Leave a Comment

back! finally…

September 29, 2009 at 2:03 pm (Uncategorized)

Hello, im back, its amazing what coffee, job hunting and reflection on ur future can do.

i am considering changing this blog to something like ‘the mildly¬†depressed, badly edited blog’, or something like that, that seems to be the only time im here!

oh well

so what has been happening I hear you say? well, plenty

the job hunt has stalled badly, but i have decide to go back to uni to be a teacher, the one thing i really thought i could and would never do. im so terrified, but the job security, realisation im pretty much surrounded by teachers and seem to have had teaching suggested to me by almost everyone i know at one point or another, has kinda convinced me. and sometimes you have to do what scares you, right?

the biggest thing was in august, i got a boyfriend! he’s great, really wonderful. if i may get mushy here, he holds me¬†im that perfect way,¬†a brilliant combination of gentle and firm. he’s tall and skinny (im not),¬†so we make a perfectly odd couple and there are so¬†much¬†evidence¬†for this. he is similar¬†and different in just the¬†ways i like. he is a¬†HUGE nerd, going to be a math teacher and he plays dnd. his¬†kisses, wow his kisses, i wont¬†go into it, but they leave me feeling all the wonderful cliches there are about kissing. he wears glasses but he prefers contacts and he looks so handsome either way. he isnt classically handsome, and im not normally attracted to some of his features, but every inch of him¬†is¬†almost perfect (i never say perfect cos it doesnt exist in humans, but he’s oh so close).¬† we share¬†values, he says hes a¬†Christian, we can talk for hours and he makes me so comfortable. he feels closer to me than even my sister, and i love her more than most ppl in this world. it has been 2 months and i have fallen for him so hopelessly and completely.

unfortunately, i dont know if it will last.

i will¬†update on thursday, hopefully, but last time we hung out he¬†told me he ‘you’ve been feeling more like a friend’. OUCH! he said on paper im¬†almost perfect and he doesnt know why he feels like this, but he does, and we agreed next time i saw him properly he would have decided, because its his decision.¬† so, im¬†praying he will make the¬†right decision. i am hoping too, but it doesnt¬†look good ūüė•¬†

well, either i wont be back for a while because of new found bliss with my man, or i will be back ranting about the uselessness and directionlessness of my life and how even my sim is doing better than me etc, etc, brought on because he dumps me.  i really cant wait for the day when i can look back at this, slightly embarrassed but praising God because with hindsight, in amongst all this confusion, i will see His plan. but for now i will pray.

thanks for reading

Cessy5

Permalink 2 Comments

Reassessing

July 16, 2009 at 12:38 pm (Uncategorized)

I was going to write a blog about how¬†I felt after my friend got back from overseas.¬†Awell crafted piece about how¬†my life felt insignificant and underused in the face of his experience, and how those feelings led me to other feelings of inadequacy that made me feel unworthy of the gift of my life. ¬†All this was mixed up with all my anxieties¬†about how my friend and¬†I would get on now he had grown up while¬†I hadn’t.

But something has happened,¬†I don’t feel like writing that anymore. These feelings still exist but time¬†has helped to¬†dull them. Plus,¬†something is happening,¬†I don’t want to give details yet, but it is exciting. (which is unfortunately playing with my Tourettes :P)

In other news, I saw Harry Potter and Transformers with my travelling friend, it’s great to have them back, for now.

Thanks for reading,

Cessy

Permalink Leave a Comment

More days, including Dreamworld!

July 3, 2009 at 6:35 pm (Uncategorized) ()

I have had a big couple of days.¬†I wanted to do¬†a proper, detailed thing but¬†I think i’ll run out of time.

first off; Dreamworld monday 

log ride first, it was fun, got wet and took forever to dry because i was in jeans. one guy got his phone wet, but it seemed like it could be saved.  

i finally went on the tower of terror. it was strange, the initial push was bad, then i got used to it and opened my eyes, then we went upo and it just felt like taking off in a plane, which was enough to think about it at the time. i also had time to realies we were about to fall back and scream “dont go back” a few times. we were almost tiger chow, they had t use the air brakes cos the other brakes failed!¬†and after, the biggest¬†shakey thing was in the back of my neck, it didnt resolve enough either. i guess i could do it again¬†but¬†its not something i enjoyed.¬†oh and we all felt sick after and went to hav lunch.¬†

Lou and i got our faces painted, it was so good, the girl did such a good job, and she seemed like a pretty cool persone herself. unfortunately her helper wasnt the best, nice too but not in a fairylike way. more like a bummed out teen.      

i got wet again on the rapid ride, which i love, and my bag, that didnt leak in the log ride, had a tiny leak. it was major thankfully.  

my final ride was the mike doohan one. it was alright too, but too short and too hard to find the line.  

then we went to see tranfromers and hyear one. at the end of it, just before the big battle, the projector broke. which really helped¬†at the¬†movie¬†when it got cold. but the dew fell at night too. it was really cold ūüė¶ ¬†

other highlights of the week; i voted in the  hottest 100. i shouldnt have left it too late because my list isnt perfect at all. it was so hard, and not as diverse as i would have liked.

the list is:

1. Golden Brown – The Stranglers
. Take 5 – Dave Brubeck Quartet
. Wonderwall – Oasis
. I’m all for believing – Missy Higgins
. I wish that I was beautiful for you – Darren Hanlon
. Gorecki – Lamb
. This mess we’re in – Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey
. Jesus was way cool – King Missile
. Another one bites the dust – Queen
. Ch-check it out – Beastie Boys

then i got over excited¬†at Fun in the Parks (google it)¬†because we have new songs! we havent had new ones since i started 4 years ago!¬†later that day i got even more excited because one of the songs was from Lift Off, an ABC¬†kids show from the 90’s! please google if you don’t know/remember. i even had tears of joy. ¬†¬†

and today i had a lovely coffee with a friend i hadnt seen for a while.

and theres the call for dinner, i shall edit this with proper spelling etc later. i believe i can do that, if not, i hope you enoyed this mish mash and could understand some of it

Thanks for reading

Cessy5

Permalink Leave a Comment

Stuff from today

June 25, 2009 at 5:03 pm (Uncategorized)

Hey Hey!

some randomness is in order today i think. it will be the tales of my travel to the shops this morning. quick observation: so far i have only written on this blog when I’ve had coffee, coincidence? ūüėõ

so, yeah, i went to the shops, woohoo! watch out, i left the house. i needed to buy a new heater because the motor in the other one was burning out, it isn’t a nice smell let me tell you! plus i had to drop my sister at work. So we went, after i¬†decided an apple was enough for breakfast.¬†

at the shops i was amused to find the water was back in the fountainy water feature thing. it had been off because of water restrictions. it was a bit dangerous and¬†several unsuccessful attempts were made to fence it off. the children, and no doubt late nite skaters and assorted other hoodlums, had plenty of fun in that empty fountain. sadly, the dams have technically reached 70% or whatever and they no longer have their play ground ūüė¶

my second discovery was the existence of a Leyland brothers DVD. for those who don’t know (and i barely know myself) they are some guys who had a show going around Australia and filming it to show audience places to go, i guess its kinda like a cross between Malcolm Douglas and getaway. anyway, they were a bit laughable from what i understand. and now¬†they have a DVD selling in a major retailer ūüėĮ i really would love to know who buys some of this stuff.

but my quest was for a heater. now you would think, being winter, various stores would stock up on them for all the people who go to pull out their heater and find it has died (who, me?) but no. i went¬† to 3 different stores and they all had¬†the tiniest little section tucked away for them.¬†heaters! none! in winter! are they all crazy! i¬†didnt want to be¬†cold so i bought¬†one that seemed the best. i still havent¬†tried it yet. i will need to know later…¬†

So,¬†I had mild success! i had a heater! unfortunately i also had to carry it. those new environmentally friendly bags have such horrible handles! they dig into your hand as soon as you get them! good for the environment and all blah blah bla, but they need to fix that somehow ūüė° It must have been about this time i began to look¬†painfully awkward¬†to other shoppers. i also had my lunch, bought from my lovely sister (who made a good coffee!), bread and I had to deal with¬†my handbag falling off my shoulder approximately every¬†3 seconds! there was no doubt it would only be a matter of time before something fell to the ground. there was only one way to avoid this. Home time!

the last beautiful thing i saw was as i drove home. I was on the 80km stretch behind a bus doing 70, it didn’t bother me because i wasn’t in a rush. so i follow along thinking ‘typical bus, cant make the speed limit, oh well, nothing i can do to make it faster’, when it merges into the faster lane. it turned out it was¬†the quite new looking Suzuki something or¬†other that was holding it up. a new car, holding up a bus,¬†isn’t that just crazy.

so that was my¬†morning ūüôā now i must go and do, other things, whatever they are, meh

thanks for reading!

Cessy

Permalink Leave a Comment

Blog: Day 2

June 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm (Uncategorized)

Here we are, Day 2,¬†I better write something to make this a routine, or it will be lost and forgotten ūüė• so, here¬†I go!

I already have a few drafts that aren’t¬†ready to be posted yet, and I’m slowly learning what all the little tabs on here mean. I’m also slowly coming to realise how¬†many ways a blog can be used.¬†I will have to be careful or¬†I will try to do it all at once and it just won’t work.

So, a few things that are on my mind; coffee is wonderful. I try to keep off it cos¬†it messes with my Tourettes but it is lovely stuff. It’s my day off so¬†I¬†allowed myself a cup this morning, mmm. My sister¬†can tell when I’ve had coffee, I’m jittery and more likely to talk, or type, like¬†I am now.¬†I can feel the energy surging through my body, especially round the shoulders,¬†I feel like flinging my arms around, dancing, singing, just moving. And I will, thanks to my abnormality ūüôā

It’s times like this¬†I hate the¬†way the world is set up.¬†Sure¬†I could go dancing down the street¬†but I would be so embarrassed later, I beat myself up over stuff like that. And where’s the fun if no-one will do it with me?

Anyway,¬†I can’t allow myself to have caffeine or alcohol or get too excited because I will hit myself, or even worse, some one¬†else. It is a disturbing new development from the last few months. The only other person¬†I used to hit was my ex, and sometimes his brother, but since they have been away travelling I have hit at least 2 others! That’s 2 more than I would like!

I wish¬†I could find¬†a sociological perspective on Tourettes and other movement ‘disorders’.¬†I have no¬†option but to take my tablet (which fortunately¬†works for me but unfortunately not everyone) and live my life in the same emotional state¬†or risk the dreaded twitch. The few opportunities¬†I get to get out of this routine are few and far between.¬†I realise many people may feel like this in their lives, but for me the stakes are higher.

Should¬†I love it, because it makes me unique? Or should¬†I hate it? Is there some underlying desire for attention¬†I should be ashamed of? All¬†I can be sure of it that¬†I will have to live¬†with it ’til¬†I die,¬†¬†so there is no point being too upset.¬†I just hope¬†I¬†don’t get osteoporosis, that could be bad.

Wow, so, there we are, my lament over my ‘condition’,¬†I could talk about the normal and abnormal and much more, but¬†I think this is long enough. Thanks for reading ūüôā

Permalink Leave a Comment

Hello

June 21, 2009 at 1:56 am (Uncategorized)

Hello,

How are you? I hope you are well.¬† I¬†hope you like my blog ūüôā¬†

I should probably let you know what I want to do with this thing. Well, i want to write all those thoughts that come to me that i find it hard to bring up with people. i want to make little obsevations here and there. but i still want to be a little interesting at least. at the moment that is. I may change my mind, you hear that internet, i change my mind!  

meh, i may change what i want to do with this blog, i’m only learning so lets see where this goes shall we ūüôā i hope, look, my attention to¬†capital letters is already gone, oh well.

Cessy5

Permalink 1 Comment

« Previous page